Moving In the Right Direction

In my post Beginning to Heal, I mentioned my goals for 2012 and beyond...to get out of debt and to get back to the weight I was before I started having babies. Well I have to share with you the amazing way in which God has provided for us and encouraged us on our journey, and in other ways is requiring me to draw closer to Him and lean on Him for wisdom.

Two weeks ago we got our taxes done and were quite overjoyed when our accountant told us the final result. We were getting a great return. Well the return was deposited in our account this morning and I am very happy to say that we now have a $1000 emergency fund and have paid off all credit card debt. Previously I mentioned that the total amount of debt we have accrued was $83585.00. Today I am happy to tell you that number is now $74,963.68. God is so good.

It felt amazing sending off the money to pay off all credit cards, and C.J. and I are committed to not getting anymore, EVER! Now we have to tackle a few medical bills from the birth of our third son and then it is on to the vehicle. We are hoping to have it paid off by the end of the year and next year start tackling student loans. That is the bulk of what we owe. I can't tell you how encouraged I feel that we have committed ourselves to this and the amazing provision God has given us to knock out a large portion.

While the debt issue has been of great encouragement to me, the weight issue has not. I am at a place where I must reevaluate and press into my Savior for wisdom on how to best tackle it and still be able to nurse my amazing gift, who by the way is growing so fast. Since having my little one in October I have tried to work out ever so slightly, and I am talking extremely light workouts, body weight only, and I had an immediate drop in my milk. Having that happen after both of my previous two boys I paid very close attention to my milk production. Since working out was not going to work, I thought I would try to tackle it through changing my diet taking out all processed grains. I lost four pounds in a week but by the end of the week my milk was also vanishing and I was having to give the baby bottles. After a couple of tears and trip to Whataburger my milk returned to full force.

I refuse to give up. At this point I am trying sit quietly with my Lord and ask for His wisdom on how to handle it. Should I wait until I reach my goal of nursing for 1 year to give a good go? Is there something that I can do now and not lose my milk? Sitting still and letting God give me the answer is the hard part for me. I want to try my own thing, but doing so has not given me the results I want or that are best for my baby which is my first priority. The best part of this and what I praise God for is that it is requiring me to push into Him.

How are your goals going for the year? What is God teaching you?

Sarah

Feed Your Family: 7 Steps to Success - Free ebook today only

So yesterday I shared with you my two resolutions for the year which included finances and diet. Well today I want to share with you the opportunity to get a free copy of Johnlyn's from Hummingbird Homemaking ebook Feed Your Family: 7 Steps to Success. It is free today only (January 20, 2012).

The ebook was recommended by Money Saving Mom and includes tips on how to make a meal plan, eat healthier and save on cost doing it. If it is something you are interested in, go by and download it for yourself today.

Happy Friday!

Sarah

Beginning to Heal

Well it is now halfway through January and though I have had my "resolutions" set, I have yet to post anything about them. The reason being...fear...fear of judgement, fear of allowing myself to be so transparent, and fear of failure.

This year I have two main resolutions. While they are resolutions that I am seeking to get a major grip on this year, they are life changes that I am seeking to make.

Resolution Number 1: To get out of debt

I have mentioned before that my husband and I are following the Dave Ramsey Plan and are working to pay off debt. So here is the oh so very scary part...We have $83,000 worth of debt to pay off between our vehicle, credit cards, and mostly student loans. While it is hard to open myself up and let all of you know how far in debt we are (especially since the majority of my readers are friends and family who most of the time we try to appear we have it all together with), it is also somewhat freeing. I do believe it is where my healing will begin. I am on a mission. My husband works his tail off working two full time paramedic positions and we are determined to get rid of this debt so that we can give our children so much more later. We don't want to live like the average American but want to be different. We no longer want to be slaves to the lender. And it is so important to us to teach our children about how to manage their own finances so they never become slaves.

Resolution Number 2: Lose the baby weight

This is even harder for me to post, but I now weigh 149 pounds. There really is no hiding the fact because anyone who sees me knows I am carrying extra weight around, but somehow it seems so much harder to put the number out there. My goal weight is 110 pounds and I am determined to get there. It has been discouraging because I tried to workout twice using only bodyweight and my milk immediately began to decrease and Baby B was getting frustrated. I lost my milk and got it back after baby numero uno, but lost it completely when trying to work out after numero dos. I really want to make it to one year nursing so I don't seem to have much choice in working out while nursing. I do plan on running as that never seemed to effect my milk supply, but am working on teaching R to get really proficient riding his bike so he can go on runs alongside me. The other two ride in the double jogging stroller. (The triple is not in the budget.)

So there you have it. I have laid the numbers out in the open. I want to be transparent and allow my Savior to come and do a work in our home. I want to change our spending habits and be free from the bondage of debt. I want to let go of the extra pounds that hold me back from feeling confident and physically accomplishing all that I want. I am certain of only one thing...I can't do it without the strength Christ provides in those weak moments that I want to stray from my commitments. Let the healing begin. Have your way in me my Lord.

What do you need to heal in your life? How can I encourage you and pray for you? Let's begin together.



Sarah

Judgement

Since I found out I was pregnant with my third angel I tried to prepare for all that was ahead of me. In all the preparing I did, I don't think I ever could have prepared myself for the judgement of others.

As I have probably said before on this blog, we had our first son, Reef, and thought he was so easy that we would add another one. We planned our second little guy, Levi, and he came when R was only 18 months old. We knew we wanted more, but had not thought out any specific time to add another one. A week after Reef's 3rd birthday thinking I was getting the flu, I found out that I was pregnant with our third. It was a surprise but of the best kind!!!

During the following 8 months of pregnancy there were times when I thought to myself, "Can I do this? Can I be a great parent to 3 kiddos ages 3 and under?" Just the sound of that sounded like a lot. But, I always came back to the answer the same answer...YES.

I am confident of my abilities to be a mother of three young boys because and only because I know that this is God's plan for our lives. If I try to give parenting a go on my own I will get nowhere fast and be pulling out my hair in frustration, but if I allow God to lead me on this journey of parenthood I am confident that all will be okay and I will learn a lot about myself and my Heavenly Father. He never gives us more than we can handle and I am loving it so far!

All that being said I was not prepared for how others would judge me and my family because we have 3 boys ages 3 and under.

In my 8th month of pregnancy, no doubt showing, I started noticing that I constantly got looks while out with the older two boys. One day C.J., my husband, and I were out on a date a couple of weeks before  little Boaz was born and we got those looks of, "AWWWW, How sweet!" and even a few verbal remarks and questions of, "Is this your first one?" I commented to C.J. that when I am alone I get the "AWWW's" but when I am with the other two boys I get different looks entirely.

In that same 8th month I was at lunch with my mom at a tea room and we had Reef and Levi with us as well. There was a table of two ladies sitting next to us who smiled at the boys and said hello. Next thing I hear them talking about how women on welfare should have to be on birth control. I don't think they thought I am on welfare but that is what came to their minds when they looked at my family. This was after I had received many stares and looks at my belly and observed comments being made. Maybe I was being too sensative but it was not the only outing where I felt the judgements of others.

Since Boaz has been born it has not changed much. When he was about a month old we were at Target as a family. Reef had to go the bathroom so daddy took him while I kept looking with Levi and Boaz. C.J. and Reef returned and we kept walking around a bit. C.J. asked me, "Is it just me or is everyone in here acting very snooty toward us?" My reply to him was, "It is because you are with the hispanic with three kids." He snickered and told me that on the way to the bathroom with Reef alone they got a couple of, "He is so cute" and several smiles but now things seem different. That was the first time that C.J. had felt and seen the judgement.

A couple of weeks ago we were enjoying a Sunday dinner out and there was an older couple who looked unhappy from the get go who kept looking over at us. The husband looked over at our table and made a comment to his wife which I could not hear. She made a snear and said, "Very." Whatever he said, we were apparently "very" of. I found myself wanting to make the boys sit up straighter and quiet them to complete silence when I stopped and realized it was not our problem, but theirs. When I sat back and took a look at the situation I realized that in fact the boys had been amazing at the table. We had been enjoying our evening out very much and they were being very sweet and well mannered. We had been enjoying conversations with the boys and could not have asked them to be any better.

Now we tend to laugh about the way people look at us like we are some kind of circus act, but there are days when I want to say "BOO" and let them know that we see their stares.

The judgments have got me thinking though about how I allow others' opinions of me and my family to affect me. It has opened my eyes again to how important it is that we get our approval from Christ and not from others. It is useless to try to get others to approve of you because guess what, there will always be those who judge you negatively. If I live my life to please them I will be miserable and I will make my boys miserable. If I live my life to please the Lord and according to His will then I will live a full life and my children will be happier and healthier.

I have also been thinking about the judgements I place on others. I have come to understand that what works for each person is different an we can't define it for them. For me having 3 kiddos in 3 years works while for others having only one child or even none works. In the end it works because that is what God has given us because He knows best. We have to trust that in our own lives and in the lives of others. God is not about cultural norms and definitely does not use cookie cutters. I want to do my best to see individuals through His eyes and not my own.

Have you placed judgement on others? Are others placing it on you? Let us look to the heart of Jesus and allow His Spirit to see things as He does.

Sarah

Prayers For My Husband

With three little ones I have become all about organizing my life. I have been trying to organize our home, but I am not stopping there. I want all areas of my life to be organized from our home, to our finances, to our eating plans, etc. I have even reorganized my prayer life.

While I was a missionary in Africa I had a morning routine which included praying over a different list of individuals each day of the week. Monday was family, Tuesday was friends and so on. I have tried to continue to do that since then, but I recently came across something that I have added to my prayer routine.

I follow a blog called Organizing Made Fun and I read Becky's article on how she organizes her prayer life. She organizes her own much like I do mine, but she had an added section which I absolutely loved the idea of so I began to incorporate it into my own prayer time.

For each day of the month there is something specific that Becky prays over her husband. She had some documents available for printing so I used her same prayer points and made my own prayer cards. She has several days written on one card but I printed mine with one day on each card to help me really focus on that day's prayer instead of reading ahead. The picture above is my version of the prayer cards.

Our husbands have an extremely important role in our families as the leaders of our households. There is a lot of responsibility that is placed on their shoulders and there are even more temptations they face in the world everyday that try to lure them away from fulfilling their calling. It is important that we as wives pray over them and hold their arms up when they grow weary instead of nagging them.

I have been using my prayer cards for the past 2 months (I made them a couple of days before Boaz was born and planned to share them then, but my plans changed a bit!) and I have loved doing so. My husband knows that I am praying for him and he has expressed how much he appreciates it as well. It has also been interesting to see that the area of his life I was praying for has often been something he faced in one way or another that day.

I want to encourage you to make your own set of prayer cards and begin to pray over your husband as well. Think of how the world could be changed if we all began intentionally praying for the men we love.

When you begin yourself or if you have something different that you do to pray over your family, I would love to hear about it. Please share it with the rest of us so we too can grow from it.

Have a great weekend!

Sarah

P.S. Right after posting this I came across a site that offers prayer cards for your husband that also include scriptures and cards to pray over during your pregnancy. Check them out at Better Life Blog.

Let the Journey Begin

Well yesterday I formally introduced our little angel, and today I will begin sharing my journey to getting my body back and reaching a healthy weight.

Having 3 boys in 3 years has not been easy on me physically. I was always a fit person before children wearing a size 0, but changes in metabolism and not being able to workout while nursing along with pregnancy after pregnancy after pregnancy has left me with more weight than I care to admit and requires me to change how I have always done things.

As I mentioned before children I was a size 0 weighing in at 98 to 100 pounds. I ate whatever I wanted never being overly concerned with what I put in my month. I did not consume large amounts of food, but sweets have always been my weakness. Like most girls I LOVE chocolate.

Having my babies has required me to stop and take inventory of what it is I am eating. In order to lose the weight I must change what types of foods I consume. Doing my own research I have chosen to eat a primal diet consuming the foods that cavemen would have consumed...meats, fruits, veggies, nuts, etc.

After my first born I had a few extra pounds and began working out in order to shed the weight at which point my milk stopped. I was able to get the milk back and I continued to slowly lose weight by watching what I ate. I was still nursing and just 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight when I became pregnant with my second son. After having him and knowing that I lost my milk with my first born I tried to work out doing very little, but again my milk stopped. This time I could not get it back. Once it was lost I began working out heavily and I had also discovered The Primal Blueprint and The Maker's Diet. I was just a few pounds from my goal weight and achieved a major goal by running the 2011 Houston Marathon. Two weeks later I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant with baby #3. Now I am heavier than I have ever been and starting all over.

As part of my starting over I want to share my journey with you in hopes that you will hold me accountable. I am embarressed by the extra weight, feel weaker than ever before, and am desparate to get back in shape. I wish to share my struggles and my victories in hopes that others may be encouraged.

I am also revisiting Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and reexaminig my relationship with food and how it affects my relationship with Christ. I am well aware that I can in no way accomplish this on my own, but rather I must rely on the power of my Saviour. Yesterday as I was tempted to grab a less than healthy snack I felt a stirring in my spirit and relied on prayer to give me the strength to choose the healthier choice.

I hope you will come along with me, and if you are on your own journey I would love to hear about your struggles and victories as well. Feel free to share recipes, etc.

Sarah

Meet Our Newest Little Guy

Today I want to formally introduce the newest member of our family.

Meet Boaz!!!

Born on October 1st, Boaz weighed 8 lbs and 12 oz. The doctors were stunned as was I because everyone had him pegged as a 7.5 lb baby. Having gestational diabetes they were closely monitoring me and his growth. I was able to deliver him naturally even after having a c-section for the birth of our second son. The recovery was so much easier and Boaz has been another easy baby. I tell everyone they have gotten easier with each child and my first was super easy.

This week Boaz has begun sleeping through the night which makes for a much more energized mommy. The next step is to get him to move from sleeping in his car seat to sleeping in his crib. Our first born and Boaz have both slept in the car seat for the first couple of months of their life. I will start getting him use to sleeping in his bed now during nap times. I do all changes in sleep during naps rather than nighttime because sleep at night is too valuable to me. Some might think I am crazy but it has worked for us. I have three wonderful sleepers and that makes mama happy.

Big brothers are crazy about the little guy. In fact they get mad at us when we tell them they need to give Boaz a break. They love him so much. Reef is already asking me to pray that God will put another baby in my tummy (he started this one week after Boaz was born). Reef wants a little sister this time. We will see...

Boaz has begun giving us the most heartwarming smiles and is somewhat cooing now. I move my tongue making noises for him to see and he consistently tries to move his tongue in the same fashion. He is very strong and healthy. God has abundantly blessed us.

Now that things are getting more and more on a routine, I hope to begin writing much more often. We will see how it goes. The boys are always my top priority.

Thank you for checking in on us. I have many more posts in my head that I hope to be able to publish soon.

Sarah